As I mentioned a post or two back, it turned out that doing nothing I found stressful was really bad for the anxiety and we threw around a few ideas of why this might be and what could be done about it. One of the ideas was that I was simply a little bored of mind.
Since writing that, I haven't really had time to stop and think about how to challenge my mind, or indeed anything else. It has seemed to be the case that I have been less anxious also.
The big thing that has occurred has been just the start of term, the start of pre-school, the start of all our regular fixtures like the mum's cell group that I "run" (I use inverted commas because the three other members of the group really do their fair share of running it too, I just get to claim that it is me...), swimming lessons for G&E and so on. These are the kinds of things that make me busy but don't necessarily challenge my brain (other than cell group (oh by the way, in case you are not jargon-tastic, a cell group is not a terrorist organisation in this case, it is a bunch of Christians meeting together to study the bible, pray and challenge each other. In our case, we also laugh A Lot and eat plenty of cake.)).
I have, on the side, however, picked up a couple of these more brain challenging things, occasionally by accident. I have led, or helped to lead, a couple of services at church. The first was a last minute offer to lead an evening prayer service. It was a little stressful at the time simply because leading a service that you have been to once before and is of a fundamentally quiet and reflective style is very hard to judge whether people are engaged or bored to tears. Those closed eyes and relaxed faces could mean one of two things...fervent prayer or blissful sleep! However, I did enjoy it thoroughly and had a lot of positive feedback afterwards. The second service was the dreaded, horrifying All Age service. I think we put together a good service. I think it went well. I think those who were there enjoyed it and hopefully learnt something from it. I hated it. At the time it was ok but I went into bit of a state of shock afterwards and crawled off into a cave to recover. It was tough going. I am still trying to work out which kind of tough going - the kind where you should keep going and stick at it or the kind where you should know your limits and make a graceful exit. I fear it is the former!
The final challenge to my brain has come in the form of E's impending second birthday. I decided a while ago that I would write her a story for her birthday, the hope being that I shall continue to write stories for both children for each birthday for as long as they want. But let's not get ahead of ourselves!
The thing about a story for a second birthday is that it has to be illustrated, not much way round that with a two year old! I can write stories but I can't draw for toffee. And yet, here I sit, while writing this, spraying pages of drawings with fixative so that they don't smudge the opposite page and considering the drawings still remaining and attaching the words and...! And feeling pretty darn chuffed. I still can't draw but I have drawn enough to get the point across. Why the heck I decided to include a horse in the story I will never know (thank goodness there are words there too so people will know it is a horse...). It has filled my evenings this week, along with a bit of party preparation and it has been a very good challenge. Of course, as soon as I finish it, I need to start on G's story...
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